There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
