I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
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When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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