batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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