you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
sarcasm needs its own font
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The feeling are messing with the penis
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
