If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
