I'm going to jail i love you
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
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