I got chris browned last night
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
