You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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