I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
