Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
