How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
