how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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