ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
