i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
