Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
don't judge my taste in strippers
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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