It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
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Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize