Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Soap is not a condiment
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
