What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
