It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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