What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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