He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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