Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
