i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
