I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
