If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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