does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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