apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sext me about skeletons
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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