No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.