it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again