Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."