i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
