So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
