I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
