Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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