I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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