everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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