I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize