I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
