You're so nebulous sometimes
i love accidental penises.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
