why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
