Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
