My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
