Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
