you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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