using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
