This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
