im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
