so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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