Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
