I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize