used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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