I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
