I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize