Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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