Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
