Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Michael Bay diarrhea
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
