So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
