His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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