I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
