Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
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painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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