Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
