just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
