I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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