Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize