I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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