somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
