I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
